


Advice

by starskycas



Series: Seven Ways That Destiel Could Become Canon [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Advice, Bunker, Confused!Cas, M/M, Pick-Up Lines, Season 9, Teasing, Touching, human!Cas, magazine advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-06 00:19:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6729505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starskycas/pseuds/starskycas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas struggles with being a human, and more importantly, his feelings for Dean and decides to use the advice from a magazine article to win him over.</p><p>Set in Season 9</p>
            </blockquote>





	Advice

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Cas gets advice from a magazine

Being human, Castiel decided, after three weeks of practising and studying human lifestyle, was remarkably different to being an angel. On one level, it seemed far more demanding, at least certain aspects did, as Cas found himself craving things like sleep and food, whereas before, the two had been things he would only consider while accompanying the Winchesters. Sam and Dean were, of course, determined to make his new life as a human as tolerable and easy as possible, seemingly ready to answer the full set of new questions Cas had about life on Earth. 'You need to sleep, man,' Dean told him hesitantly one night after finding the angel sitting in the library alone, book clutched in one hand. 'And not in that tiny armchair, in a real bed, in your room!' He had said when Cas opened his mouth to protest, raising his eyebrows at the ex-angel.

And when Castiel had quietly muttered something about 'never being able to sleep', tearing his gaze away from Dean and fixating his eyes on the floor in front of him, it had been far from a lie. He sometimes found the whole task near impossible, unable to fall unconscious in the fear of being left defenceless and fragile when asleep. Dean shook his head, sighing quietly, but a small smile was playing across his features as he retrieved the book off him, carefully setting it down on the table next to him. 'C'mon, i'll help you,' he'd murmed, gesturing behind him, and Cas had followed, intrigued by the ostensibly softer side of the hunter. When the two had reached the room that the brothers had set up for him, Cas climbed into bed, Dean sitting on the end of it, their proximity immediately making Cas feel safer. It was dark in the small room, and was quiet, with the exception of the still noise of their combined breathing.

He'd closed his eyes after a while, unusually relaxed in the darkness with the comforting thought of having Dean by his side. For a while his thoughts drifted, images playing out in front of him, almost like a story. But it hadn't lasted long, the peace crushed by horrible memories of the fall, all the wrong he'd caused, all the disappointment he'd caused, "nightmares", he'd heard either Sam or Dean call them. He sat up with a jolt, panicking when he found the darkness closing in around him, calling Dean's name and becoming puzzled by how croaky his voice sounded. But then he felt a hand on his arm, and he melted into the hunters touch, forgetting to be surprised by the fact that he was still there and falling back down onto his pillow as Dean murmed words of comfort.

But then he'd found that perhaps Dean did not like having this softer side shown, as when he tried mentioning it at breakfast the next day, he'd been hastily cut off, Dean staring down at his toast as a light blush crept across his cheeks. Sam next to him had smiled, and Dean had clearly noticed too, shoving the last of his toast into his mouth and muttering a 'shut up, Sammy,' before pushing his chair back and walking out of the room. Cas had been confused by what he'd done wrong, but the feeling hadn't lasted long as Sam had quickly changed the subject, asking Cas what he'd like to do with their free day.

The fall had also had also presented Cas with a new experience - emotion. Of course, Cas had experienced emotion and feelings as an angel, but as a human, every feeling seemed exaggerated, and sometimes - far harder to cope with. This proved to be a problem, significantly when around Dean, as for some reason that confused Cas, each time he was around the hunter, he'd feel a rush of happiness seeping through him. He knew he cared about Dean, that was evident as an angel, but Cas noted quite pointedly that it didn't happen around quite as intensely Sam, or anyone else. Besides, it wasn't just that, Cas thought back to one of his first days as a human, when he'd walked outside to find Dean out in the sun, washing the impala with his shirt strewn somewhere across the ground. As Dean had turned and grinned at him, he'd felt what seemed inexplicably like a more intense happiness as he scanned over Dean's bare skin, which had caused an unusually tight feeling in his crotch.

His reactions around Dean had prompted him to question Sam about it one early morning, when the two were yet again alone together at the table, Dean asleep in his room. He felt sure that Sam would be of some help and able to offer some useful advice, as the man seemed very smart, especially in human ways that Cas was not. As Sam sipped on his coffee, reading through his newspaper, and Cas silently ate his toast, he wondered how to proceed such a conversation, unsure of what the usual protocol was.

'Sam?' He started hesitantly, earning a non-commited 'Mmhm' in response, the hunter barely lifting his eyes as he took another sip of his coffee. 'I was wondering if you could explain to me the cause of erections,' he tried and Sam choked, hand going up to his mouth and settling at the side of his face as he stared at Cas with a look of slight horror. 'You were what?' He asked weakly, newspaper suddenly completely forgotten. 'I was wondering if-'

'I heard you the first time!' Sam stopped him faintly, blinking at the other man. 'W-why do you ask?' Cas sighed, remembering his feelings around Dean, but was unsure of how to explain them. 'Because recently i've been feeling-' He started but Sam cut him off again with a wave of his hand. 'Dude, I really think you should have this conversation with Dean...' he suggested, and Cas frowned, knowing full well that Dean would not be up for partaking in this sort of conversation. 'I can't!' He told him in frustration, sick of new emotions and feelings he couldn't explain.

Sam's eyes softened slightly as he put his mug down on the table next to him, before turning back to Cas. 'Well, usually when that happens, it means that you like something...' Cas thought about his words, seeing the truth in them. He did like Dean, a lot, but it still didn't explain why it never happened around Sam, or anyone else. 'I like you Sam and I don't-' He began to point out and Sam scrunched his face up, groaning. 'God, I hope not. You gotta let me finish man,' He told Cas and he nodded apologetically. 'Maybe just "like" was not the way to describe it,' Sam admitted aloud, looking up and hesitating. 'I mean, you like something in a different way..uh..a sexual attraction. Maybe the cause of them is something you like or want in a way more...carnal'. Cas nodded silently again, processing the new information. 'Thank you for explaining,' he added, and Sam smiled at him from across the table. 'Anytime,' He told him weakly, although the frown that appeared across his face mid-speak made Cas wonder if he might mean otherwise.

'So, why were you wondering? Was there something you found that uh- triggered the reaction?' Sam asked, starting to regret the sentence long before it was even spoken. Cas opened his mouth to speak but shut it firmly as a noise from behind Sam made him look up. 'Morning Sammy. Cas.' Dean called as he walked into the kitchen, proceeding straight over to the coffee machine. The two exchanged glances before both looking up at Dean, Sam replying with a 'Hey,' and Cas simply smiling in greeting. The conversation between Cas and Sam ended there, and the subject was changed again when Dean came and sat next to Cas, talking to his brother across the table as the ex-angel considered all that the younger Winchester had told him.

* * *

 

A day or two later, the three of them were all having lunch together, talking of a new case they'd found, and quickly made the decision to take it to the road. Packing some things together, they pilled into the impala as they set off down the road, Cas staring out the window in the back. The car radio was blasting loudly, but Dean turned it down slightly as his eyes moved up to the rearview mirror. 'You alright Cas?' He asked, as he looked up to meet their eyes. 'I'm fine, Dean,' he replied honestly.

Being in the car was slow and distinctly less efficient than angel travel, but he found he didn't mind so much, taking a relative amount of enjoyment out of simply looking out the car window, admiring the world outside. It was probably why he hardly noticed when the car rolled up outside a gas station, Dean jumping out to fill the gas and flinching slightly when Sam spoke. 'Hey, i'm going in to get some stuff, you wanna come?' He'd asked, gesturing over to the small shop to the right of them.

Cas had gone with Sam, following him inside and looking up when a small bell on the door signalled their arrival. Sam had gone straight to the far end of the shop, leaving Cas to wonder aimlessly at the front by the magazines. He scanned over them, moving past several celebrity and beauty magazines, but his eyes caught on a particular headline and he bent down, picking it up for further examination. " _How to attract the guy you like!_ " It promised in large capital letters, and Cas had opened it curiously, flicking to the indicated page. It was presented with the same title in a similar font and a few paragraphs of text underneath. Cas found himself smiling as he looked down the list. Surely this would work on Dean, as he was a " _guy_ ", and according to the text, the methods described were 99% accurate.

Castiel closed the magazine and walked up to the counter where Sam was headed, stopping him in his tracks. 'Can you buy me this?' He asked solemnly, handing the magazine to the younger Winchester, who raised an eyebrow. 'You want me to buy you...cosmo?' He asked, but cut Cas off as he started to reply, shaking his head in amusement. 'Alright, alright.' He turned and walked over to the counter, turning the magazine over to look at it and shrugging as he did.

Back in the car, Cas sorted through the bags, taking the magazine out of one of them and tucking it safely inside his coat, so it was hidden from view. When Dean got back into the car, conversation started up about the case, but for once, Cas' attention was not on the older Winchester, but the question of what he would have to do to "attract" Dean.

* * *

 

 _'Get him talking about something he loves. When a guy's talking to you about something he's really into, he'll start to subconsciously associate those feel-good vibes with you.'_ Castiel thought it seemed like a logical assumption, as he read through he first step. It looked like it could work, and he was more than willing to listen to Dean talk about something that made him happy.

That night, he found himself alone with Dean, the two of them sitting on Dean's bed, the hunter flicking aimlessly through channels on the TV. Unsurprisingly, they seemed to have ended up watching a marathon of Dean's favourite hospital drama, of course featuring Dr Sexy MD. Dean was smiling at the screen as he watched and Cas wondered if it was something he could talk to Dean about. 'Why do you like Dr Sexy so much?' Cas asked after a while, with genuine curiosity. Dean looked across the bed at the ex-angel, blinking in thought. 'Because he's Dr Sexy.' He replied seriously after a moment of silence, smiling to himself. There was a silence for a moment. 'What if he was not a particularly nice person. Would you still find him...'

'..sexy?' Dean offered, and Cas nodded. 'Well, I guess that he would still be good looking, but I doubt I would still find him as attractive. Personality's important,' Dean told him, mouth twitching in thought. 'To me anyway,' he added. 'I think that personality's important to me too,' Cas responded sincerely, and Dean smiled at him. 'Good,' he said simply, before turning back to the TV.

Satisfied that he'd made Dean smile, Cas mentally crossed off the step from the list in his head. Hopefully, Dean would now watch the program and associate him with it. Maybe the whole 'attracting Dean' thing would turn out to be easier than he thought.

* * *

 

 _'Another great trick is to touch both yourself and him more often while around him. Check out his reaction, if he seems turned on, you're doing it right! It's best to start innocent before-'_ Cas skimmed down the page, stopping half way and pursing his lips in thought. Dean's reaction to the last advice he'd followed had been good, but Cas was unsure of how to go about this in a way that he wouldn't send the wrong message. He continued reading, closing the magazine when he got to the bottom of the paragraph and tucking it carefully inside his trench coat, hidden from view.

He'd just about gotten to his feet when the door of the motel room swung open and Dean and Sam walked in. There was a faint trace of a grin on both their faces, as if one of them had said just something funny and they were still smiling to themselves. 'Hey Cas,' Dean called, immediately dropping onto his bed with a sigh. Sam followed from behind Dean, but went instead to the mini-fridge, swinging it open. He grabbed three beers then raised an eyebrow at Cas. 'Want one?' He asked, barely glancing over at Dean while he tossed a beer to him, Dean instinctively catching it with what seemed like years of practised perfection.

Cas shook his head and Sam shrugged. He grabbed his own beer and sat on a chair near the door. 'What's new?' Cas blinked momentarily as he tried to think of what to say. Unfortunately, small talk was something he'd not quite perfected yet. 'I-uh...nothing.' He didn't even have to look over to see Dean frowning, he could feel it in his voice as he spoke. 'Everything okay?' He asked, sitting up where he had situated himself at the top of the bed and Cas glanced across at him. 'Yes.' He responded honestly, and Dean appeared to be at least half-satisfied with his answer as he leaned back against the headboard of the bed.

'Oh shoot.' Sam said suddenly and the two looked over at him. 'What?' Dean asked, and Sam sighed as he seemed to be typing out a message on his phone. 'Mrs Wilberson's freaking out again because of something that happened a few blocks from her. She's insisting it's connected to her husband's death.' He told him and Dean's mouth twitched slightly in thought. 'What happened?' He asked as Sam tapped rapidly 'Someone else was murdered, a teenager.' With a sigh, Sam finally put his phone back in his pocket and grabbed the impala keys from the table. 'I'm going to check it out. Wait here with Cas, i'll be back soon.' With that he started to head out the door and Dean rose to his feet quickly. 'Wait, are you sure you don't want us to come w-

'Nope!' Sam responded quickly and Dean crossed his arms, huffing. 'Don't scratch my baby!' He warned, but Sam was already out of earshot. Cas watched the scene play out in front of him, slowly realising that this was his chance to be alone with the hunter. He shifted a little closer to Dean on the bed, who barely raised an eye at it, instead grabbing the remote from his side and switching on the TV. Although Dean didn't seem to be paying him much attention, he decided to continue with his plan, and he placed his hands on his knees, before sliding them slowly up his legs. He did it a few times, with no reaction from Dean, in fact, quite the opposite, as he began to realise how much he like the feeling off his own hands touching himself. Curiously, he slid them up slightly further, stopping as just before his groin and letting out a small sigh.

Dean finally turned, but so quickly and slightly that if Cas hadn't been paying attention himself, he wouldn't have noticed. Cas, however, didn't miss the way that Dean's eyes flickered up to his face then down his hands, before he turned back to the TV, clearing his throat. The first part of the paragraph 'touching himself' seemed to be complete, but he now needed to work out a way to touch Dean. This might be complicated, as Cas knew from past experience that Dean wasn't huge on unnecessary physical contact, and he wasn't sure what conditions there were for breaking that. 'Dean?' Cas asked after a moment, and the hunter hummed in response. 'Can you pass me a beer?' Dean sighed, but leant down to a full bottle up off the floor and handed it to him. Cas reached out and took his off him, but made sure to purposely brush his fingertips against the hunters, waiting patiently for a response. Nothing.

Inwardly sighing, Cas realised that he might need to take the touching up a notch. When Dean turned to take pick his own beer up off the coffee table, Cas shook his bottle quickly, before speaking. 'Dean. Can you open this for me?' He asked the hunter, already feeling guilty about what was going to happen. The hunter murmured a yes in response and leant back with Cas' bottle in his hands, twisting the top off quickly with his eyes still fixed on the screen. Suddenly, he yelped as the bottle hissed, and started spilling out, all onto Dean's lap. He chucked the half empty bottle carelessly on the floor, and Cas reached over and grabbed tissues from a box next to him. Dean scowled crossly as he looked down at his beer soaked crotch, prompting Cas to move over closer and pressed the tissues against the inside of Dean's soaked thigh, unsure of where he was supposed to be touching. Dean was stuttering slightly, but Cas ignored him. He pressed the tissues on his thighs for a moment to mop off some of beer, before he lifted his hands and pressed the tissues right against Dean's crotch. Dean jumped slightly at the action, his eyes wide as his breath hitched. 'Cas- I- it's fine,' he said hurriedly, trying to push his hands off, but Cas was stronger. 'No, it's okay, this is my fault, he insisted, and Dean swallowed. He leant over further so that he now had one hand on the side of Dean's thigh to steady him, and one on Dean's crotch with a handful of tissues between, and palmed it slightly harder.

'You know what..uh, i'm gonna go grab a towel from the bathroom out there,' Dean announced hastily, immediately jumping to his feet and shaking Cas off of him. He headed to the door and the ex-angel watched him, opening his mouth to speak. 'Do you want me to-'

'No.' Dean responded quickly and the door slammed quickly behind him, leaving Cas alone on the bed in confusion, wondering what he'd done wrong.

* * *

The bar that Sam had picked out was relatively quiet, perhaps because it wasn't too late on a Sunday evening. The three of them were sitting at a booth in the far corner of the restaurant, Dean and Cas on one side and Sam on the other. They were all tired from a long week and conversation was not incredibly extensive, each of them sipping on a few beers. The chat stayed on safe grounds, discussing the hunt they had just finished. Cas, again, was not paying much attention, thinking about the last piece of advice the magazine had given him. _'If neither of the previous methods work out, this might be the game changer. Pick up lines are simple, and may be cheesy, but they're sure to attract your man and let him know you like him.'_

Underneath the text had been a list of examples, including one that confused Cas deeply, 'Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?' He didn't understand why the question would be relevant to Dean, after all, he had been the one to fall, not the hunter. He considered asking Sam to explain it to him, but decided against it, mainly as he was finding it harder to be alone with the man, usually he was with both of the hunters, or just Dean.

Cas had taken his time choosing through his lines earlier that day. The magazine had suggested using one or two lines, so while Sam had left the motel to get food, Cas had sat across the room from Dean, eyes scanning up and down his page. He'd cleverly placed the magazine inside his 'Enochian Dictionary' so the hunter wouldn't see what he was reading. 'You okay there Cas?' Dean has asked after Cas had looked up at him for the forth time, staring at him thoughtfully. He'd nodded in response and Dean had raised an eyebrow at him before turning back to the show he was watching on the small TV in the middle of the room.

'Cas?' He blinked at the mention of his name, looking across the table to see Sam staring at him worriedly. 'I said, I'm going to get Dean and I some more beers, do you want one?' Cas looked across the table to see Dean, shooting him the same concerned expression, and he suddenly felt bad for being so unresponsive. 'I'm sorry, Sam. And no, thank you.' He responded, eyes flickering between the two brothers. Sam rose from where he was sitting, making his way over to the bar and Cas realised that this was his opportunity - he was alone with Dean. He silently wondered which line to use first, which one Dean would respond better to.

'You look tired.' Dean commented and Cas broke out of his thoughts to glance up at the hunter, studying his face and observing that he looked the same. 'So do you,' Cas told him and Dean barely shrugged in response, brushing over his statement 'How's your sleeping?' He asked, taking another sip of his beer. Cas paused, figuring out a response. In truth, he was getting more sleep than he had been when he had first fallen, but was hesitant to tell the hunter that he slept best when he felt safe. When Dean was by his side. 'Better.' He answered truthfully, and Dean nodded slowly.

A glance to his right told him that Sam was paying for the drinks and he realised he was running out of time if he wanted to say his lines before the younger Winchester returned. 'Dean?' he started carefully, listening to him allow a small 'yep' in response. He ran through them in his mind, still unsure of which one would work best. He wanted one that would, as the magazine put it "attract Dean and let him know that he liked him." He paused momentarily, pursing his lips in thought as he looked up at him. As if Dean could feel his stare, he looked up, meeting the ex-angels' eyes and Cas held his stare as he spoke. 'Do you have a map? Because i'm getting lost in your eyes.' Dean seemed a little taken aback and his eyes widened, but he didn't take them off Cas. 'Did you just-'

He was cut off as Sam returned, sliding back into his seat and pushing a beer over to his brother. 'The queue was surprisingly-' He stopped as he observed the staring contest that seemed to be occurring opposite him. 'Short.' Sam finished as both of them turned to look at him, noticing the blush creeping up Dean's face. 'Am I interrupting something?' He asked hesitantly as he took a drink, and Cas rolled his eyes. Okay, the first line hadn't worked out, but he'd saved his best one for last.

Sam was still sitting opposite them but in his frustration Cas decided that he'd had enough subtlety as he got to his feet, receiving confused looks from both brothers. Dean's however, didn't last too long as he shuffled across to the hunter, straddling him and rolling his hips down, ignoring the small murmur Dean gave in response. Cas smirked slightly at his reaction, holding his stare as he took in Dean's wide eyes, mouth slightly parted. 'Is that a gun in your pocket? Or are you just happy to see me?' Cas murmured, purposely shifting in Dean's lap and from across the table he heard Sam let out a strangled noise. 'I'm gonna...' he didn't finish his sentence, hurriedly getting to his feet and taking his beer with him.

When Cas turned his attention back to Dean, the man was still staring at him in surprise, but he couldn't deny his flushed cheeks and lust blown eyes. 'Where the hell did you...' He started, but was cut off as Cas pressed his mouth against Dean's, murmuring again. Cas noticed Dean was pushing his crotch up against him as they kissed, his hands coming up to Cas' face and kissing him back before pulling away. The ex-angel looked hurt for a second, but Dean quickly spoke. 'We can't do this in the middle of a bar, and besides, my brother's right over there' he muttered, and Cas saw his point, sliding off Dean and sitting back in his seat, but not missing the way that Dean tugged his shirt down to cover his crotch. 'D'you wanna let me know where you learnt that?' He asked cautiously, holding back a smile.

'A magazine. It seemed to be quite effective,' Cas replied honestly, but Dean was suddenly frowning. 'Wait, which magazine?' Cas thought back to the morning when he'd been reading it, trying to remember the name it. 'Cosmopolitan,' He told the hunter, watching as Dean lifted a hand to his own face. 'You used cosmopolitan for advice!?' He burst out, and Cas blinked at him. 'How did you even get it?' Cas shifted in his seat, still unsure what the problem was. 'Sam got it for me when-'

'You bought him cosmo? Seriously Sammy?' Dean called over to his brother, who shrugged defensively. 'I didn't know what he wanted it for!' He shouted back over and Dean just chuckled, turning back to Cas, who was frowning. 'Is that a problem?' He asked and Dean's eyes softened slightly. 'No, it's just it's....never mind.' He finished, his eyes fixating on Cas' face, blinking through long lashes. 'It said that it would "attract the guy I liked".'

Dean's amused smile turned into a smirk as his eyes darkened. 'Wait, is that what you've been trying to do all week?...Attract me? Dude, you could've just told me,' his voice softened a little and Cas shrugged. 'I didn't know how,' he admitted truthfully and Dean leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips this time, his fingertips curling around Cas' wrist. Cas decided that the effort he'd gone through all week was most definitely worth it, especially if he now got to kiss Dean whenever he wanted. 'Uh...if you two are finished confessing your big gay love for each other, i'd appreciate it if I could join you again now?'

Dean broke away from Cas, looking over his shoulder to glare at his brother. 'Stop being a little bitch and get back over here.' He called, and Sam rolled his eyes attempting his best bitchface in return, but stood up with his beer in one hand, before returning back to their table. 'Jerk.'

'Did you know?' Cas couldn't help asking curiously and Sam rolled his eyes for the second time. 'Yes, of course I knew!' He responded, and Dean frowned, exchanging glances with Cas. 'And you didn't it would be...I don't know, beneficial to mention it to me?!' He asked, and Sam brushed him off, waving a hand in the air dismissively. 'I knew one of you would make a move eventually,' he admitted, after taking a drink and putting the empty bottle down on the table. 'Well, he wasn't wrong,' Cas agreed, and Dean couldn't help but smile at him. 


End file.
